I almost killed someone today, and for no good reason… I wonder, is there ever a good reason?

No, there really isn’t.

What about in self-defense? What if you are trying to thwart an enemy? What if, and what if, and how about what if?

No.

How about if we need to sacrifice just one, maybe two, okay — say three others, whomever they might be, for the greater good?

No.

Of course, it’s okay to kill under the guidelines set forth in Sun-Tzu, isn’t it?

You mean if it’s something you must have to survive, such as water or clean air; or again, in self-defense; or if victory is a foregone conclusion? No, it is not.

It’s okay to kill or die for a cause you truly believe in?

No.

It must be okay to kill or die for a cause that others believe in, especially if they order you to do so!

No, you are incorrect.

What about those who are so very different from you and me. Their skin is of a different color. They’re uncultured. They are rude and ruthless. Their hearts are so far removed from ours.

No.

And what about those religious zealots? Surely many, if not most, deserve to be killed, don’t they?

No

Okay then, what if you’re just pissed off? Who cares if you’re an ignoramus, psychopath, have D.I.D., posttraumatic stress syndrome; or you’re an ideologue, a narcissist, have a low I.Q. — If anyone from the aforementioned group came along and killed a close friend or family member, YOU NOT HAVE THE RIGHT — YOU must KILL THEM(?)(!)(.)

If you are asking, demanding, or making a statement of fact, the answer is and always should be, No!

What about psychology, philosophy, or even within the animal and plant kingdoms, or say the natural laws that are all around us? Creatures kill, creatures consume, and creatures often celebrate life through killing. So, is this okay?

No.

With whom am I speaking? You’re certainly  not God!

You’re correct.

Then who are you?

I am the one you want to be.

You make me want to kill you. I don’t have time for this. Not right now anyway… Not when my mind is so preoccupied. I’m broke. They have diagnosed me with cancer. Someone has falsely accused me of not only a crime I didn’t commit; but for a crime that never happened. This is beyond belief…

As I sit in my car at 5:00 am, I’m so cold, my windshield keeps fogging up. I am hungry. I really could use that bagel and coffee right now.

Okay traffic signal, I need to make my left; now stay green, stay green—man I need better glasses—next week; I need to remember to pick some up…

What’s that? A dog? It’s running across my path, or rather its path in the crosswalk. What’s that? An extended cable leash?

Can’t they see I’m trying to turn left? They…? Oh S**T, get out of my way!

Don’t they know I’m impaired? I cannot see.  Why is that?

Is it because– I choose… not to see?

When I look in the mirror, I believe I’m looking at myself! I have a high level of self-awareness. Does the image see me?

Could I be a fool? Could I be the image in the mirror — looking and believing I’m looking at my image, in a mirror?

If so, am I not justified and even required to shatter the mirror? I think I’ll just bury my face in the broken pieces of glass; or just pick up a shard, and slit my throat? Let’s see…, maybe not.

Cancer clear 1st year review coming next week(?). I’m not handling it well….